Dear Weight Loss Guy:

I can’t cook and when I try even stuff that was supposed to be easy to cook in the oven scares me.  Then I go out to eat, but I end up eating pizza, and pizza after pizza later, I’m finding it hard to get out of our chair.  Now I’ve  got the food delivery guy delivering right to my home office window.  I had to drop out of school because I couldn’t fit out the door.  Now even the mailman is delivering mail through my window.  Help!  I need to lose weight!

Single, Clueless, Obese, Terribly Toothless

Dear SCOTT,

I think you should lay off the pizzas and get a good book to that will help you eat better.  I’d recommend getting the free Alli Exercise Weight Loss Recipe Book, Yes it’s a mouthful and I’m sure as you read this there is a mouthful of chicken in your mouth… well no fear… Alli is here.

You might want to try signing up at sampleaday…

Free Alli Exercise Weight Loss Recipe Book

Get it HERE,THIS LINK, Yo THIS LINK, CLICK HERE, while supplies last. *in the graphic click the next button if you dont see the get free sample, right click the image and hit forward, the the click here for free book should appear.

If you're new here, you may want subscribe to get free samples sent to your inbox. Or you can subscribe to our RSS feed.

Thanks for visiting! :)

So ladies grab those men with shrubs for a face and tie them down! (You dirty minded ladies… tisk tisk) No I mean tame those beast in a different way. You can get a free new gadget to shave that shrub into a decent topiary.

Now for you men out there with no lady… well your hopeless… Just joking. Maybe shaving your facial hair will make you that much more attractive. So Why the heck not try? Ladies don’t like hair in their mouths and cactus spines stabbing them.

So get your fingers going… (again with the dirty minds huh)… and go to this site or click here, and then Vote for Ryan + Sweepstakes

Click on “enter site” then pick a face, then click on “sure man” fill in your details and a free sample is on it’s way.

P.S.: don’t get too excited seeing this bald Skater… Although his eyes seem to draw you into him… hmmmmmm

*This post was written by Brycesaggiebabe. Thank you :)!!! Did you know you can write for us ?

Other news:
It is not too late to sign up for your free $25 from revolution money!

˙ɐǝpı pooƃ ɐ ʎllɐnsn ʇou sı uɐɟ ƃuılıǝɔ ɹnoʎ ɯoɹɟ ƃuıƃuɐɥ ‘ou ’sƃuıɥʇ ƃuıʞɐǝɹq ʇɹɐʇs n lıʇun llǝʍ ‘ʎɐʍ ƃuoɹʍ ou sı ǝɹǝɥʇ ‘ʇı op noʎ ɹǝʌǝʍoɥ  ˙dn ǝpıs ʇɥƃıɹ sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ ƃuıʇdɯǝʇʇɐ ʇsnɾ ǝɹɐ noʎ ǝqʎɐɯ ɹo  ˙ʇıpǝɹɔ noʎ ǝʌıƃ ı ‘ǝsuǝsuou sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ ʇsnɾ ǝpısdn doʇdɐl ɹnoʎ pǝddılɟ oɥʍ ǝldoǝd ǝsoɥʇ ɟo ǝuo ǝɹɐ noʎ ɟı  ˙pǝpuǝɯɯoɔǝɹ ʇou sı puɐ pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ oʇ ɥsnɹ poolq ɹnoʎ llɐ ǝʞɐɯ puɐ sǝɥɔɐpɐǝɥ ǝsnɐɔ uɐɔ pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ uo uʍop ǝpısdn ƃuıʇʇıs ʇɐɥʇ ʍouʞ noʎ pıp

Now that the blood is coming back to your brain, get the Free Earthblend Dog Food.  Why? Cause Fido loves presents, and you want Fido to be happy… DON”T YOU??

Free Earthblend Dog Food

Get it here via this link.  I recieved this message after filling it out:Thank You for Requesting Your FREE Sample of Earthblend Super Premium Natural Dog Food. Please Alow 7-10 Business days for delivery.

Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Orange juice !
Orange juice who ?
Orange juice sorry you asked?

Remember the days when good clean juice jokes were funny? Wouldn’t it be nice to go back to those days? Well if you’re like me and enjoy a good knock knock joke now and again you might just enjoy this free sample. A good clean juicy juice sippy cup. The perfect addition to every juice/ knock knock/ and progressively louder song you ever knew. Or you could give it to a kid and teach them the songs .. It all just depends on how much your sanity can handle, because once they learn them.. they never forget.

If you’re up for the challenge click here to sign up !

*This post was written by Shiralh. Thank you :)!!! Did you know you can write for us ?

These are great to tuck in your purse/ bag/ car. Have you ever woke up and ran out of the house later to look in the mirror and regret skipping out on the shower? We all have. Another use for these other than a quick freshen up for  face is for your HAIR! No joke, one time I was out having lunch with some friends when my already gross hair got spit up in it by one of her kids I was holding. I was mortified and had a date later that same day and was unable to go home! I went in my car and had a little sample pack of face wash. I scrubbed it through my hair and wahlah! Now if I hadn’t dropped formula on my top I might have scored on the date… I just ended up having shiny hair and smelling like sour milk… but I hear some guys like that. :]

The Link:
click here for ponds clean sweep.

The link should work now!

*This is a costco freebie, it asks for your costco number but you don’t HAVE to put it. It still sends you a sample either way.

 *This post was written by Shiralh. Thank you :)!!! Did you know you can write for us ?

Is the force with you? The force of what you ask? The force of the Glad Force Flex Garbage Bag, that is what! Do these things really work? How much stuff do you put in your garbage? Why do people insist in filling their garbage bags up to the brim, to the point of breakage? Are garbage bags really that expensive?

The Link:
click here for the free garbage bags (From Sam’s club)

I have an amazing ability.  I have the power to make free coffee  appear at people’s doorsteps.  Now I’ve come to the realization that this is a remarkable skill.  I started just writing about samples and people have reported receiving them at there doorstop.  Amazing?

I also have the power to reconnect ex bf and gfs together.  You might be asking yourself, how do you do that?  You’d like to get back together with your ex.

Well here’s how it happens, I started dating a girl and soon after she immediately seeks out her old boyfriends who broke up from her five years ago.  Then I’ll find someone new, 3 weeks later, she’s flying to Russia to connect with her old estranged boyfriend with a litter of 12 kids.

Not only do I have the power to put you and your ex back together… just send them my way and with my luck I’ll start to like them and they’ll be headed right back to you.

With my magic, I’ll connect you with a free coffee product too.

How to get the Free Coffee?

Try this link!
* This sample is expired… but no worries, stay tuned for today’s new post (to make up for it)!

Other News:
Nick (the writer of this post) is currently AVAILABLE for the taking. Check out his craigslist post here
 

Who can get enough formula? Obviously not babies. They could drink us out of the house and home. But boy do we love those pricey little monkeys! Here is another neat website for free formula and coupons and another opportunity to feed that bottomless pit we call a baby’s stomach, Or like Ive said before, you can pass it along to someone else or maybe trade with someone who has a formula you use! Keep the barter system alive I always say! I just traded my breast pump for an excersaucer.. Pricey things those are. But anyways, I traded it and told the person I traded it to that it was only used by me.. I didn’t think it was necessary to tell her my husband also gave it a whirl. He thought having your.. ahem.. sucked on it wouldn’t hurt. Boy was he surprised!

The Link:
click here to sign up with enfamil
*Signing up may put you on their e-mail mailing list, so you may want to use a SPAM account

*This post was written by NICK. No just kidding… Thanks Shiralh for your post! We really appreciate it! Did you know that you can write for us ?

Congrats Nicole on your news!

I have a great job, the most wonderful job ever!!!!!!

No there are no birthday parties,

And there is not a huge amount of snickers bars, or swimming pools, free flights to Jamaica, or even large flamingos,

and no it doesn’t pay much at all…

Yes I am a professional coffee tester.  I test coffee like Asprescafe coffee, nestle coffee, and even Starbucks coffee.

On my commute home all the commuters smell me up.  At first I thought I was just attractive, then, I knew it was just the coffee…

The Link:
click here to sign up
*Signing up will sign you up to be part of the “tasting club”

Other News:
It is not too late to sign up for your free $25 from revolution money

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls…. …. LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE. In the right corner weighing approximately 7.2 ouncessssss standing 8.25 inches tall the B-B-B-B-B-Becks “the Wrench” Bottle opener. In the left corner standing in at 11.5 ounces at 12 inches tall Mr. L-L-L-L-abatt “sing the blues” Blue imported.
Ready…. FIGHT!

What the company says:
“The Beck’s Wrench Bottle Opener is chrome-plated, weighs 7.2 oz and measures 8.25 inches.”

The Link
Get your free bottle opener here. That means if you want to get the bottle opener you have to click here or here or here or here or maybe here. okay I think you get the point
*Site says must be at least 21 to order
Bottle Opener should arrive in 10 days