Tools have evolved over the years, and your love of Craftsman has probably made you want this free hat from Sears.  If you’d read the Craftsman glossary of tools, you’d notice that the functions of tools have changed over the years.

Glossary Page 1
ZIPPO LIGHTER: See oxyacetelene torch.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: A stabbing device used to get unruly cans of food open.
CHAINSAW: A tool modified for motorizing bikes, or scaring off evil night skunks.
TWEEZERS: A tool for women to pick at their face hair or metro men with pristine eyebrows.
SEARS: A store where men go to get away from their wives, until they realize it’s in a mall, filled with even more women.

Free Craftsman Hat via this link (password for free hat is COOLTOOLS)