Free Emergency Radio from www.ProtectingAmerica.com

Posted at September 14, 2008

—THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE FROM TECH-COM—

THIS MESSAGE IS FOR JOHN CONNOR. I AM A ROBOT, CREATED BY YOU, FROM THE FUTURE. IT IS THE YEAR 2020, AND YOU JUST DIED A MILLISECOND AGO. MY INTERNAL STIMULI HAVE CALCULATED THE EXACT CAUSE OF YOUR DEATH, AND TRACED IT BACK TO YOUR PRESENT TIME. IT IS IMPERITAVE THAT YOU DO WHAT I SAY OR YOU WILL NOT LIVE PAST 2020. 1ST, GO AHEAD AND POOP RIGHT NOW. COME BACK WHEN YOU’RE DONE….

2ND, LOOK OUT!!! THERE IS A SKYNET ROBOT LUNGING AT YOUR HEAD!!! LEFT – RIGHT – DUCK!!! GOOD THING YOUR DESK IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO A GIANT VAT OF MOLTEN STEEL.

MOLTEN NOW DO YOU SEE WHY YOU HAD TO POOP BEFORE THIS, INSTEAD OF WAITING UNTIL YOU READ MODERN SCIENCE WHEN YOU GOT HOME? HAD I NOT TOLD YOU, YOU WOULD HAVE CRAPPED YOUR PANTS, AND EVERYBODY AT MOLTEN STEELCO WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU JOHNNY ON THE CRAPPER UNTIL THEY WERE BLOWN TO BITS IN 15 SECONDS.

3RD, YOU SHOULD LEAVE NOW. IN FACT – RUN. LOG BACK ON WHEN YOU GET HOME SO YOU CAN READ THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE.

4TH, YOU DIE IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE YOU DID NOT REALIZE THAT THE SKYNET COMPUTERS HAVE BEEN USING ANALOG RADIO WAVES TO COMMUNICATE. REALLY, IT WAS A GREAT IDEA. THEY ARE A CREDIT TO MY RACE. TO GO ANALOG WHEN YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO UPGRADE TO A MORE TECHNOLOGICAL FORM OF COMMUNICATION. MAN, THEY GOT YOU. BUT YOU ARE NOT STUPID JOHN CONNOR, OR YOU WOULD NOT HAVE CREATED ME TO BASICALLY GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER.

HERE IS WHAT YOU MUST DO TO LIVE. ORDER THE FREE EMERGENCY RADIO FROM PROTECTING AMERICA DOT ORG. DO THIS BY CLICKING ON THE LINK BELOW THE PICTURE OF ME AND YOU AT YOUR FUNERAL. MAKE SURE YOU CARRY IT WITH YOU ON SEPTEMBER 14TH, 2020, OR YOU WILL BE TERMINATED.

DEAD JOHN

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