I love ice cream, milk and cheese. However, every time I eat anything with lactose, I start crapping like there’s no tomorrow. I cannot live without meat and cheese. I could never live a vegan life, although I do live in Las Vegas, which makes me a lost vegan.  Maybe I’m just lost. Lost in a world where there is a Mexican restaurant, ice cream shop and pizza joint on every block. I can’t take the temptation.

I honestly didn’t know there was a cure for such a thing, because I haven’t been to a doctor since 1997. No news is good news right? Well, I am definitely going to try some Lactaid, although the name makes me think of breastfeeding.  I am going to call my mother right now and ask her why she didn’t breastfeed me, and blame her for my lactose intolerance.

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