Have you seen Bar Wars? It follows a story about a very unique young man, who is the best at beer sports. He throws darts like a pro, shoots pool better than anyone, and can drink everyone under the table. His name is Alconon Bardancer. After everyone in the town figures out he is the best, they start to notice he is getting cocky. He is bedding more women, starting to do coke, ad getting in fistfights.

Soon enough, no one wants to hang out with him. He gets kicked out of the bar, and decides he will take over every bar in town with his beer mastery.

Then he finds out he is going to have a kid.

He pretty much freaks out gets trashed at the nearest Applebees. While at Applebees, he meets up with Onlyone Whoknowsme, his arch rival. Onlyone takes Alconon out into the street, beats the crap out of him, and pours a whole fifth of Jagermeister down his throat. An ambulance arrives to pick him up, and he disappears. Everyone assumed he was dead, because they did not see him at bars. He ended up having twins, Fluke and Lay-you.

I’ve probably already spoiled the movie, so I’ll stop here. But you should order your free beer-saber and bumper sticker and rent the movie for yourself.

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