Ok so splenda is thinking there must be some good people out there who don’t take extra splenda packets when they are at a restuarant.  Certainly we’ve all stocked up on Splenda at the coffee shop, taking a handfull of splenda rather than just what we needed. So for all you good people who did’t [...]

OOOOOHHHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH!!! That was soooooooo extreme!!!! I just strapped myself to a G-12 Hell-Rocket and shot myself into the center of Baghdad. I then landed on my feet and took out 40 insurgents with my bare hands. HELL YEAH!
I am an entertainer for the troops. They need the kind of high level intensity bad-assness that I can [...]

I like to read. I need to poop. Fortunately, it takes me a long time to poop.
Recently I read George Orwell’s 1984 while sitting on the toilet. I have many books in my bathroom. About 4,500 at last count. I get constipated, and the time just flies by with a good book. That’s why I [...]

July 18, 2008
TO: Mr. Peristalsis
CEO Sample A Day Dot Com
FROM: Phil McCrackin
Old Man, Retired Cheese Eater
RE: Benefiber
I wish to thank the benevolent benefactors who bequeathed me with Benefiber. My misery knew no bounds. I spent my days hunched over—my poor rectum was like a sack of nails. Then, I received my free Benefiber from Sample [...]

Here is your chance to get a free sample of True Lemon, True Lime and True Orange drink mixes. I use this stuff to make Lemonaid… its pretty nice, all you have to do is add the powder packet with any water to make instant lemonaid. The best part is, it [...]